Different Types of Gardeners: The Beginner

 Hello to All,

   So I'm feeling quite type-y today so let's continue our discussion on types of Gardeners.  Now, I prefer the term gardener for anybody that does anything regarding plants, just south of a full fledged farmer.  I fully realize that that is not "cool" or "masculine", hence we have our ridiculous delineations of landscaper, grounds keeper, gardener, horticulturalist, blah blah blah.  If you work with plants, from a succulent next to the kitchen sink to maintaining a botanical garden, you are a gardener.  Done.  If you don't like it, then deal.  If you think your masculinity will be diminished because you spend your free time dead-heading your petunias and weeding your dahlias, maybe reconsider your concept of masculine. It seems that in America (and sorry, this is a tangent, something I'm quite prone to) anything nurturing is viewed as feminine, and anything more destructive/controlling is viewed as masculine.  Therefore, it's ok for a farmer to be a man, as he is bending nature and the landscape to his will, he is dominating. Yet, to work with nature to create a gorgeous flower bed is viewed as feminine. It's all a bunch of rot. I say: do what makes you happy, or could make you happy.  Gardening has done wonders for me and my mental health.  I love growing veg, flowers, shrubs, everything.  And before anyone questions my masculine credentials, I am a combat veteran with my CIB.  Tangent over.

So, let's get back to it.  Let's call this first group the Beginners.  Don't worry, we're all beginners!  Plants are capricious little a**holes at times, so even a Master Gardener will get flummoxed a time or two. So, you want to garden but don't know where to start. Awesome, you want to garden, that's the most important thing.  The biggest considerations at this point is space, time, money.  Are we talking about an apartment balcony? A plot in a community garden? A wide open 1 acre lot that your new house is on?  With space, you must also consider weather and light.  Is your balcony facing North (this is the most restrictive of growing directions)? Is it in a wind tunnel? Will it get rain or will you be solely responsible for watering?  If you are considering doing any sort of fruit or veg, you have to consider pollination (your plant has to have sex in order to make tomato babies.)  If you keep your tomato plant indoors, you have to be the pollinator (not hard, I recommend a cotton swab, rub it inside one flower then take it and rub it inside another) There are hoards of books and websites and YouTube videos on this. 

If you have a new house, condo, domicile, I recommend taking a growing season just to see what there is.  This is effective if you have no idea what there is.  If you have a garden in mind, then rip everything out and start with your vision.  Remember, a weed is anything that you don't want in your garden! (Clarification: a growing season, in my mind, is essentially spring through the subsequent winter)

Looking at the beginning of my gardening journey, we had a little house on a decent size lot in a suburb of Milwaukee.  We had pretty much wide open East and West facing lawns to play with.  There were some beds close to the house which my wife had been handling and that was about it.  So the wife and I talked about what we wanted (mostly veg) then we went from there.  The garden was located in the southwest corner of the yard, I made three rectangles out of cinder blocks and filled them in with dirt.  That was it for that veg patch.  I, we, also experimented with different plants and bushes at various spots.  Some of our favorites and others that we had never grown before.  Then we sold the house and now a whole new garden to tackle.

So, as you can see, I took a mix of playing with what was there, which was limited, and adding slightly to what I knew the team (my wife and I) could handle at the time.  The veg beds weren't that big so weeding was at a minimum and the other beds were limited.  If the team got to it uninterrupted we could weed the whole thing in an hour.  The overall cost was also low, this was because we were expecting our second child at the time, so money was obviously at a premium.

And that kind of sums up the discussion for this post.  Really consider the space, time, and money that you will be dedicating to this project.  Plants are living things that need TLC, so be sure to be able to take care of them.  There is nothing worse than a garden that was started and then went to pot, we've all seen them, it's not nice (except for bugs, birds, etc.).  So start small and work your way up.  I will include some suggestions below.

In apartment: succulents (kalanchoe specifically; and snake plants), cacti, and fuchsia are my favorites.  These are relatively easy-going plants that don't need much to thrive.  Cacti and succulents really only need watering every three weeks or so (pay attention to where air vents are, I have to water the snake plant by our heat duct every week because the air blowing passed it dries it out).  Also pay attention to lighting, most succulents don't like tons of direct light, so play around with them, move them, see where they fit.  If you are looking for a bit more of a challenge I love fuchsias.  They do require a little more watering and attention (once a week, again, dependent on placement and air ducts).  With fuchsia's I like to feed them every other month, I've used the insertable food tabs and the squirt bottle fertilizers by MiracleGro. It's just up to personal preference.  Succulents and cacti could use a feeding every 6 months or so.  About the quickest way to kill a cactus or succulent is to over water. (they will essentially flop over sideways and get squishy).

For patios/balconies: there are any range of flowers, herbs, veg that you could grow.  Flowers I would start with petunias, snapdragons, impatiens, the generalist flowers that are omnipresent at garden centers. As long as you deadhead (pull the dead/wilted flower petals off while leaving the green part) they should essentially keep flowering through the season.  Veg, tomatoes, beans, peas these are relatively easy and space effective plants to grow.  If you're feeling very DIY you can rig various set ups for lettuces, onions, peppers, etc. I'm not a fan of these for beginners as lettuces are finicky in pots, peppers are prima-donnas that need everything just right, and onions are just kind of boring (unless you use a lot of green onion in cooking, then they are awesome patio/balcony veg.  We keep some green onion going close to our patio door for cooking purposes). Herbs: whatever you use, thyme and rosemary can be brought in and out depending on the season, basil grows well and easily, just keep plucking the flower heads before they go to seed (literally, this ruins the flavor of the basil leaves), sage, oregano, pretty much whatever you want.  I have a thyme plant growing in the window by my easy chair (partially because I love the smell, also because that's where there was space).  That thyme plant goes in and out depending on the season.

Side note: there is nothing wrong with going to Menards, Home Deport, Meijer, insert garden center name here, and simply looking at veg and flower seed packets.  Look at the back to see if they are container friendly then go from there. A goal of mine is to try and grow one new veg and one new flower every year.  So far I'm at about 4 new plants, the ivy is looking good, the string of dolphins also, the shamrocks are nearing their natural end, and I am really enjoying my Ficus (I know it's a weird plant to enjoy, but the variegated leaves and the growth of the plant is subtle and amazing, also, it takes virtually no light and it grows like crazy)  For outside in the garden we are going to try a few types of lettuces, so that could be fun, or annoying, probably both.

Until next time, Auf Geht's!